Adapted and improved upon from an article by Marcandangle
Some of the smartest people continuously struggle to get ahead because they forget to address a few simple truths that collectively govern our potential to make progress. So here’s a quick reminder:
No.1 – Education and intelligence accomplish nothing without action.
It doesn’t matter if you have a genius IQ and a PhD in Quantum Physics, you can’t change anything or make any sort of real-world progress without taking action. There’s a huge difference between knowing how to do something and actually doing it. Knowledge and intelligence are both useless without action. It’s as simple as that. For some practical guidance on taking action, please read The Now Habit
In short ‘The Now Habit’ states the following:
No. 2 – Happiness and success are two different things.
I know an extremely savvy businesswoman who made almost a million dollars online last year. Every entrepreneur I know considers her to be wildly successful. But guess what? A few days ago, out of the blue, she told me that she’s depressed. Why? “I’m burnt out and lonely. I just haven’t taken enough time for myself lately,” she said. “Wow!” I thought. “One of the most successful people I know isn’t happy.”
I also know a surfer who surfs almost all day, every day on the beach in front of our condo complex in San Diego. He’s one of the most lighthearted, optimistic guys I’ve ever met – always smiling from ear to ear. But he sleeps in a van he co-owns with another surfer and they both frequently panhandle tourists for money. So while I can’t deny that this man seems happy, I wouldn’t classify his life as a success story.
“What will make me happy?” and “What will make me successful?” are two of the most important questions you can ask yourself. But they are two different questions.
Mani – I recommend following your passion, your bliss, that thing that fires you up every morning, afternoon and evening. Something you do not consider work but fun. Then think of ways to make money from doing that!
No. 3 – Everyone runs their own business.
No matter how you make a living or who you think you work for, you only work for one person, yourself. The big question is: What are you selling, and to whom? Even when you have a full-time, salaried, ‘Corporate America’ position, you are still running your own business. You are selling one unit of your existence (an hour of your life) at a set price (the associated fraction of your salary) to a customer (your employer).
So how can you simultaneously save your time and increase your profit? The answer is slightly different for everyone. But it’s an answer you should be seeking. The 4-Hour Workweek is a good read on this topic.
No. 4 – Having too many choices interferes with decision making.
Here in the 21st century where information moves at the speed of light and opportunities for innovation seem endless, we have an abundant array of choices when it comes to designing our lives and careers. But sadly, an abundance of choice often leads to indecision, confusion and inaction.
Several business and marketing studies have shown that the more product choices a consumer is faced with, the less products they typically buy. After all, narrowing down the best product from a pool of three choices is certainly a lot easier than narrowing down the best product from a pool of three hundred choices. If the purchasing decision is tough to make, most people will just give up.
So if you’re selling a product line, keep it simple. And if you’re trying to make a decision about something in your life, don’t waste all your time evaluating every last detail of every possible option. Choose something that you think will work and give it a shot. If it doesn’t work out, choose something else and keep pressing forward.
Mani – May I recommend the book Overachievement by John Eliot PhD, where he goes into the trusting mind-set from the training mind-set. Amazing read.
No. 5 – All people possess dimensions of success and dimensions of failure.
This point is somewhat related to point #2 on happiness and success, but it stands strong on its own as well…
Trying to be perfect is a waste of time and energy. Perfection is an illusion.
All people, even our idols, are multidimensional. Powerful business men, polished musicians, bestselling authors, and even our own parents all have dimensions of success and dimensions of failure present in their lives.
Our successful dimensions usually encompass the things we spend the most time doing. We are successful in these dimensions because of our prolonged commitment to them. This is the part of our lives we want others to see – the successful part that holds our life’s work. It’s the notion of putting our best foot forward. It’s the public persona we envision as our personal legacy: “The Successful ABC” or “The Award Winning XYZ.”
But behind whichever polished storyline we publically promote, there lies a multi-dimensional human being with a long list of unprofessed failures. Sometimes this person is a bad husband or wife. Sometimes this person laughs at the expense of others. And sometimes this person merely takes their eyes off the road and rear-ends the car in front of them.
Mani – Again I would recommend a great book by Marci Shimoff called Happy for no reason
No. 6 – Every mistake you make is progress.
Mistakes teach you important lessons. Every time you make one, you’re one step closer to your goal. The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake.
So don’t hesitate – don’t doubt yourself. In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Most of the time you just have to go for it!
And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be. Either you succeed or you learn something. Win-Win. Remember, if you never act, you will never know for sure, and you will be left standing in the same spot forever.
Mani – Habit 4 from Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
a) Win/Win People can seek mutual benefit in all human interactions. Principle based behaviour.
b) Win/Lose The competitive paradigm: if I win, you lose. The leadership style is authoritarian. In relationships, if both people aren’t winning, both are losing.
c) Lose/Win The “Doormat” paradigm. The individual seeks strength from popularity based on acceptance. The leadership style is permissiveness.
d) Lose/Lose When people become obsessed with making the other person lose, even at their own expense.
e) Win Focusing solely on getting what one wants, regardless of the needs of others.
f) Win/Win or No Deal If we can’t find a mutually beneficial solution, we agree to disagree agreeably no deal. This approach is most realistic at the beginning of a business relationship or enterprise. In a continuing relationship, it’s no longer an option.
No. 7 – People can be great at doing things they don’t like to do.
Although I’m not suggesting that you choose a career or trade you dislike, I’ve heard way too many smart people say something like, “In order to be great at what you do, you have to like what you do.” This just isn’t true.
A good friend of mine is a public accountant. He has told me on numerous occasions that he dislikes his job – “that it bores him to death.” But he frequently gets raises and promotions. At the age of 28, out of nearly a thousand Jr. Accountants in his division, he’s one of only two who were promoted to be Sr. Accountants this past year. Why? Because even though he doesn’t like doing it, he’s good at what he does.
I could come up with dozens of other examples just like this, but I’ll spare you the details. Just realize that if someone dedicates enough time and attention to perfecting a skill or trade, they can be insanely good at doing something they don’t like to do.
For an insightful read in this department, I highly recommend The Talent Code.
No. 8 – The problems we have with others are typically more about us.
Quite often, the problems we have with others – our spouse, parents, siblings, etc. – don’t really have much to do with them at all. Because many of the problems we think we have with them we subconsciously created in our own mind. Maybe they did something in the past that touched on one of our fears or insecurities. Or maybe they didn’t do something that we expected them to do. In either case, problems like these are not about the other person, they’re about us.
And that’s okay. It simply means these little predicaments will be easier to solve. We are, after all, in charge of our own decisions. We get to decide whether we want to keep our head cluttered with events from the past, or instead open our minds to the positive realities unfolding in front of us.
All we need is the willingness to look at things a little differently – letting go of ‘what was’ and ‘what should have been,’ and instead focusing our energy on ‘what is’ and ‘what could be possible.’
Mani – “Difficult and unpleasant as it may be to accept, we often feel most hostile to those who remind us of aspects of ourselves that we prefer not to see. “Ask someone to give a description of the personality type which he finds most despicable, most unbearable and hateful, and most impossible to get along with,” writes Edward Whitmont, “and he will produce a description of his own repressed characteristics….These very qualities are so unacceptable to him precisely because they represent his own repressed side; only that which we cannot accept within ourselves do we find impossible to live with in others.” Think for a moment of someone you actively dislike. What quality in that person do you find most objectionable? Now ask yourself, “How am I that?” ~ Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz from The Power of Full Engagement
No. 9 – Emotional decisions are rarely good decisions.
Decisions driven by heavy emotion are typically misguided reactions rather than educated judgments. These reactions are the byproduct of minimal amounts of conscious thought and primarily based on momentary ‘feelings’ instead of mindful awareness.
The best advice here is simple: Don’t let your emotions trump your intelligence. Slow down and think things through before you make any life-changing decisions.
Mani – Often it’s down to the uptight ego that’s been bruised for us to often react with emotional decision making, I used to do it all the time when in meetings getting attached to my own Project ideas, soon my staff started to become aware and planned the meeting for my decisions to act in their favour, but it didn’t take me long to realise my own mis-takes and decided to follow Michael Beckwith’s advice from his book Spiritual Liberation “A conscious realization of our innate oneness with the Inef- fable does not mean that we will never make a mistake again. Even enlightened beings burn their bagels once in a while. It’s important to maintain a sense of humor because this is how you will stop being afraid of making a mistake. You’ll make some, but so what? That’s why they’re called mis-takes. Humor relaxes the uptight ego. You get a new cue from your inner Self and simply say, ‘I missed my cue, so let’s do a second take.’Your willingness to take the risk of making a mistake is actually an expression of courage and a willingness to grow from them. Mistakes are about getting the blessing in the lesson and the lesson in the blessing.”
No. 10 – You will never feel 100% ready when an opportunity arises.
The number one thing I persistently see holding smart people back is their own reluctance to accept an opportunity simply because they don’t think they’re ready. In other words, they believe they require additional knowledge, skill, experience, etc. before they can aptly partake in the opportunity. Sadly, this is the kind of thinking that stifles personal growth.
This is often the mis-take smart people make, simply because of their fear to make the wrong decision. Often fear of loosing it all… but one should simply have faith and dive in as one did before name, fame and adoration.
The truth is nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow emotionally and intellectually. They force us to stretch ourselves and our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first. And when we don’t feel comfortable, we don’t feel ready.
Just remember that significant moments of opportunity for personal growth and development will come and go throughout your lifetime. If you are looking to make positive changes in your life you will need to embrace these moments of opportunity even though you will never feel 100% ready for them.
John Eliot, in his phenomenal book, Overachievement, states this about just going for it: “The physical symptoms of fight-or-flight are what the human body has learned over thousands of years to operate more efficiently and at the highest level. Anxiety is a cognitive interpretation of that physical response.” He continues: “Exceptional thinkers learn to trust their consciousness. They teach themselves the power of positive action. They don’t stop to think about how great the act is going to be. Instead, they act.”